All or Nothing

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:1-2

I am an all or nothing kind of gal, and so far two of my children have inherited this trait.  So many examples are tumbling through my head....I can't just have ice cream in the house if I am trying to stay away from it, there can't be any.  When it comes to tithing on Sunday I cannot give just some, it has to be all.   I needed to lose weight years ago and making smaller portions wasn't working so I did the dreaded and developed an eating disorder.  I need to hear words of affirmation daily, or else my significance in this world slips.  With the children, when it comes to video games there is no such things as moderation, we either let them have it and they are on them all the time or we take them away and they collect dust.  Same with TV, it can't just be a little, so they often don't watch at all.  Our pediatrician suggested this approached with red food dye, it has too be all or nothing, so we chose nothing (no, I am not going to debate this, they simply stated that it works for some families, they never said it was proven...)  We slip up and let chores go for a day, or even two, and it is so hard to bring them back in.. My list goes on and on.
What about my faith?   Well, that goes along well with my all or nothing, realist view.  I trust my God with everything, I trusted him with his choice of my future husband, a man that I only knew for four short months before our engagement and never had a relationship of any type.  We trusted God with all when starting our family.  We chose to trust him with all when we had to bury our son and again when we discovered our fourth pregnancy that so quickly followed.   We have had to trust him, all or nothing, even when it seemed impossible.  He showed it was possible, a check came in the mail, a note, a word from a stranger.  I often battle  my all or nothing out look, others do not understand but the again, I am not in charge of others.  God has blessed us with this little family, with the things he has given us and the children that are  on loan.  Satan might try his best to come in to kill and destroy but I know that God has the end of the battle.  I pray that my family, my friends, my mothers that I walk next to can rest in this peace.  God wants us, not some, not occasionally but he wants our hearts, all or nothing.

"Every high thing must come down."

This is a picture of my scale, or what used to be my scale.  I would get on this scale every Friday morning, every week it would define me for that day, or week depending on what it told me.  Good or bad I really held a lot to this square glass scale and it had to end.  It has become far too high in my life and where I was on my journey, so I was going to throw it out. Someday.  Until my two year old decided to try it out, she wanted to stand on it just like mommy did, so she tipped it over (it stood on end against the wall) and it hit the floor with a crash.  Problem solved (praise God no one was cut, either.)  This was a great reminder to me that no matter what excuse we make, now much we put our convictions off, God will find a way to make His will clear.

"You are always fighting for us

Heaven's angels all around

My delight is found in knowing 

That You wear the Victor's crown

You're my hlep and my defender

You're my Savior and my friend

By Your grace I live and breath

To worship you

e

To Every high thing must come down

Every stronghold shall be broken

You wear the victors crown, 

you have overcome,

you have overcome"

(Victors Crow

Darlene Zschech)

What a glorious thought!  He holds us in his arms and he wears the crown of VICTORY!  We have had quite a journey these past few weeks, my oldest was given a diagnosis that we saw coming.  My weight loss has been long, painful and slow, my husband gave up a stronghold in his life and is feeling so much better and so much more.  We parent, we pray we work through this crazy life and we live for the one that has promised to walk beside us and he delights in every effort we put forth.  I know that I can just lay down every time I botch training up the children or lose my cool and my father will be patient with my faults and not just forgive but forget.  

My husband and I are very intentional with the children, two of the three are opening their hearts to God's love with every day that goes by.  They still sulk, and throw fits but we work with them, pray verses over them and try our best to mirror what we have learned through growth.  Grace is practiced in this home. Be encouraged.