Over the past few years it has become obvious that my husband and I have our own way of parenting that seems to be so far from other families. I am not sure how I am going to write about this but it has been something rolling around in my head lately. Two quotes keep my head straight more often than not, the are both from a trusted friends.
"Don't judge others that sin differently than you"
and
"Judge lest ye be judged."
I try to stay far away from those who think their way is the only way, I have always been the type of person that doesn't enjoy conflict and I try to stay far away from it. I guess you can say I am a peacemaker but there are times that wearing that hat can be for the convenience of others. This past week I had our parenting style criticized and in my head I was doing the same back to them. Not good, not good at all. Not the trap that I want to fall into....
Our children are healthy, well mannered and have the knowledge of Christ. They are horrible at cleaning up, staying organized and don't have chores that they do regularly. They watch TV (can almost name all the Duggars and tell you how to dirty ice a cake) and love to read Bible stories. These are a few examples of things that work for other families that once upon a time I thought my family would have to follow. The other day after yelling at them for the millionth time to clean up (subsequently they went to bed early because the job wasn't done) that I realized this is not how we want to roll. I was trying to have something to say "oh yes, they clean up and do chores." Instead I sat down staand realize I just lost a whole evening of their childhood and I won't get it back. I beg the Lord's forgiveness, they will learn to clean up and do chores one day and that day will probably come parallel with going to sleepovers with friends, not wanting to sit down and cuddle, read and watch movies. A day that comes too soon and I am sick of missing out my heart tells me that they won't be come lazy, self center people because I lacked in this part of their training. It makes our hearts smile when we hear those around our children communicate about the training that we have put into all three of them. In turn I do my best to focus on a child's strengths that don't always come naturally. All parents enjoy hearing "they used please and thank you, oh they shared nicely ect." I love our parenting style, yes I do think God rolls with laughter some days when a mom or dad thinks they are doing the best job ever. God created these beings and we are their caretakers here on earth. He has the ultimate control of their yesterdays today's and tomorrows.
The number one thing I stress to all of our friends is just because it worked for us doesn't mean it works for you, leaving them a sense of "I can do this, its ok to have our own style" this is something that takes a long time to feel thanks to media, social networking and parenting websites. I feel blessed to sit on two sides of the fence for a lot of big life events. I don't care if you breastfeed or not, if your child is malnourished that is a problem. I will tell you all the pros and the bonds of nursing but if you chose to formula feed that is great! Epidural, yeah..bring it on but natural birth has also been a great experience. Your child's not number one in class? Hey, if they are on cue than they will flourish in their own time...I even had someone tell me that their child learned to read from watching educational DVDs...talk about a breath of fresh air :) I love that we parents with God's love in control. I pray that you can feel the same.
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